Finding Rachel Berry
by luvtheunderdogs
Summary: Set after the Finn breaks up with Rachel over the Puck fiasco. Rachel realizes that it's time for her to find a happy medium. Will Finn be a part of the process?
1. Chapter 1

She knew at the time that she was making a big mistake. But all her anger and frustration that she was feeling had sunk to the surface and had clouded her judgment. Rachel Berry was so tired of not feeling good enough for Finn…so tired of just being that annoying, irritating girl in the Glee Club. And the vision of Santana's dark arms wrapped around Finn's waist was so indescribably painful that she couldn't even will it away as much as she wanted to. Rachel herself **had wanted **to be that dark haired girl, with her arms wrapped around Finn's waist, more importantly, to be his first and forever, **always. **Her small fists clenched in frustration.

Her moment with Puck had been a huge mistake. Puck would always be her Jew boy, they always had that in common. And to tell the truth, she was one of the only people who could really see the Noah behind the Puck. Of course, you couldn't knock a girl for noticing Puck's guns but to tell the truth he was like a much younger brother. It was Finn who made her world rock. And it was Finn who at this very moment wanted nothing to do with her. Drama had come calling and yes, she had earned some of that drama but he had promised her that he would never leave her. She had wanted so badly to believe in her fairy tale but his lie about Santana had tarnished the silver.

Rachel could not help but feel confused about her part in the mess. She didn't feel like she was the only man alone on that island. It would take time to figure out this mess. For the first time in a long time, Rachel wanted to sit back and contemplate her future and maybe in the process figure out what **she needed**. Just maybe, if she took some time out for herself, just maybe, Finn and her could reconnect. But, she knew that it was more important for her to reconnect with herself first.

She just was so tired of feeling all kinds of inadequate…so tired of not liking the image in the mirror…so tired of wanting to have blue eyes, blonde hair, in a cheerleader skirt. The sheer exhaustion of never feeling good enough about her status at McKinley was a full time job. It was time to have a heart to heart talk with Mrs. Pillsbury to get some ideas on how to bring Rachel Berry back.


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel literally scrambled out of bed the alarm not waking her up. She had been up half the night reliving every second of her break up with Finn. Literally, the best way to describe her complete and utter devastation, was like a car trying to run without any fuel. She felt passionless, restless, and at the same time void of deep emotion. Needless to say, it wasn't a satisfactory feeling. Tired, very tired.

As she rubbed the cold cream on her perfect complexion, Rachel resolved that this would be the day that she would do her best and work at not trying to be what everyone wanted her to be. Sort of, being who she was without trying so hard to please. Kind of, having confidence but without needing the approval of everyone around her.

Furiously, she clicked on her ball point pen and chewed on her lower lip as she wrote down her best qualities: loyal, ambitious, honest, truthful to a fault, intelligent, her own person, wears fashionable sweaters, talented, and loving. She continued with her next need to work on list: insecure, annoying, and at times speaks without tact. "At least, my strengths list is much more full than my need to work on list," she thought to herself.

Today Rachel was going to walk in the halls of McKinley High and **change her world**. It would be her day to make new friends that didn't center around the Glee Club, to not let the Santana's of the world bring her down, and to simply not try so hard. If people didn't see the value of who she is as a kind and loyal friend, than they simply could kiss off. At the same time, she would be working on her need to work on list.

Her pink covered nail pushed the on button of the stereo. A simple song by Jonny Diaz would be the perfect song to help her get through her morning. She really wanted to be a **More Beautiful You. **

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazineSays she wants to look that wayBut her hair isn't straight her body isn't fakeAnd she's always felt overweightWell little girl fourteen I wish that you could seeThat beauty is within your heartAnd you were made with such care your skin your body and your hairAre perfect just the way they are[Chorus]There could never be a more beautiful youDon't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump throughYou were made to fill a purpose that only you could doSo there could never be a more beautiful youLittle girl twenty-one the things that you've already doneAnything to get aheadAnd you say you've got a man but he's got another planOnly wants what you will do insteadWell little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would comeYou starve yourself to play the partBut I can promise you there's a man whose love is trueAnd he'll treat you like the jewel you are[chorus]So turn around you're not too farTo back away be who you areTo change your path go another wayIt's not too late you can be savedIf you feel depressed with past regretsThe shameful nights hope to forgetCan disappear they can all be washed awayBy the one who's strong can right your wrongsCan rid your fears dry all your tearsAnd change the way you look at this big worldHe will take your dark distorted viewAnd with His light He will show you truthAnd again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl[chorus]


	3. Chapter 3

_**The talk with Miss Pillsbury did not really help. Miss P just listened with her bug eyes and agreed with everything Rachel said especially the part about her needing to be a little nicer. She reminded her to not change for any guy and gave her the "if he doesn't like you the way you are than find someone who does" spiel but Miss P did not get the point. The main point being that she wanted to change for herself and did not want to care any more about the evil Santana's of the world. And more than anything Rachel wanted to just be comfortable in her own skin. **_

_**As her heart pulsed with anxiety through out the school day, little changes were made in her daily routine. First, she made sure to talk to other students even with Jacob at lunch time who annoyed her to no end. Actually, one girl named Adrian in Mr. Shue's Spanish Class had seemed receptive to having a conversation. Casual chit chat was not in Rachel's repertoire but at least a good try on her part was made. Her next plan was to invite one of her new acquaintances to lunch. **_

_**The next part of her plan (which would be the hardest) would be to walk in Glee Club and control her urges to cry, beg for forgiveness, and not jump in Finn's arms. Instead her goal would be to display a calm, serene, keep to yourself persona, ignoring any sarcastic comments from the girls, and (gasp) not asking for all the leading solos. Of course, if Mr. Shue was smart he would realize that her talent far surpassed the other girls but no more begging from Rachel Berry. Whatever part that would follow would be sung with class!**_

_**With a few labored breaths Rachel grasped the door knob and walked in the choir room. All eye contact remained on her new seat…the one the furthest distance from him. She could hear the laughter and school chit chat of the other Glee members but they wouldn't be hearing from her at least not today. Mr. Shue walked in and gave his let's get to work eye contact. Practice continued and the Glee members seemed to not notice her silence as she made it through the motions. **_

_**When the bell rang, her feet rushed out the door like a racehorse. Not fast enough, because she could feel him behind her. It felt weird not knowing what he looked like because she wouldn't, couldn't even bear to look at him and see his one sided dimpled smile and deep dark eyes. Finding Rachel Berry was going to be a challenge.**_

_**Finn couldn't figure it out. Seriously. All week he had been watching Rachel trying to figure out her play. She had been displaying some unusual behavior all week at school. He just about died when he walked into the cafeteria and saw her sitting next to Jacob the nerd. Today at the end of sixth period he spotted her long brown ponytail and to die for legs in a blue and black paid mini-skirt talking to Adrian Gray one of the top ten smartest students at McKinley High. As his long legs rushed past her, he even heard skirts of conversation about them meeting each other at the mall at seven. **_

_**He was even more bothered by her silence and behavior at Glee rehearsal. He hadn't heard her gripe at the other Glee members all week even when Santana made a comment about her clothing. What was really bothering him the most was that she hadn't even tried to speak to him or even look at him. What was she trying to accomplish? Was she trying to make him jealous? All he knew that none of the Rachel Berry games were going to work. He was done being duped by stupid girls. **_


	4. Chapter 4

**The past week had passed quickly but it never defrosted the sadness in her heart. She was so unbelievably saddened by the depth of her despair over missing Finn. She carried him everywhere. It was really quite miserable waiting for the phone to ring, hoping to glance at him in the hall way at school, and being aware of his nearness in Glee rehearsals. **

**Delicately, she wiped the lone tear that drifted from the corner of her eye lid. Despite the cascading sadness, she had found some solace in her new friendship with Adrian and even with some of Adrian's friends. Rachel had even found shopping to be quite entertaining, even though none of them had agreed with Rachel's fashion choices. Letting loose was not always easy for the ridgity of her life but things were heading that way. A person could still be focused and competitive, and at the same time have fun and relax. **

**At this moment, she was walking down the hall with Adrian's brother Charles. Charles was Adrian's twin brother and they had formed an easy going friendship. Good enough that he had confessed to her his sexual preference for males, not that he was going to confess that to many at McKinley. McKinley was a breeding ground for bullying and unacceptance to new ways. She had even told him about what happened between Finn and their breakup. **

"**So, you have to come with us and watch the new Harry Potter movie Rachel", said Charles, his grin highlighting the adoring crinkles by his eyes. **

"**Why would you want to go with her Charles when you could get tap one of us?" Santana walked by giving them a tenacious lift of the brow and many laughs from her adoring squad. **

**Charles intertwined his arms through Rachel's in reply to Santana. Rachel turned to him and smiled.. It was great having friends who were loyal to her. As they walked around the corner of the hallway, she bumped into something very hard. It was Finn.**

**Finn felt the collision and looked up to see Rachel and Charles Gray. He took in the entanglement of their linked arms and Rachel's smiling face, that is until Rachel saw who she had bumped into. Her face flushed pink and she hammered out some barely recognizable uh uhs. Charles smiled at Finn and muttered an apology to him as he walked past. **

**Finn felt so angry at the moment. He contemplated punching a locker or just walking out the building. He didn't want to care about Rachel being with someone else or the fact that she was able to get over him so quickly. His blood literally felt like it was boiling. Finn practiced some slow and labored breathing that he had learned when going to birthing classes with Quinn. He was not going to give Rachel any satisfaction thinking that she had gotten to him. Finn made it to the choir room with one minute to spare before the bell rang.**

**Mr. Shue was talking about going to sectionals and how they would need to work hard and start taking the competition more seriously. Santana raised her hand, "Let me guess Mr. Shue. Rachel will be getting the lead again, right?" She gave Rachel a dirty look which Rachel failed to respond. **

"**Whatever Mr. Shue decides to do is fine with me", Rachel turned and gave Santana a firm look.**

"**Yeah, right. We know that if he gave one of us a solo you would be furious".**

"**You know Santana. I don't care what any of you think. I didn't ask for a solo and I certainly did not make a big deal over it. Maybe, it's you that needs to grow up. I don't have time for this crap".**

**Mr. Shue interrupted the conversation. "Santana, Rachel is right. You are the one being obnoxious. We have four numbers to sing. I would like Sam and Quinn to sing one song, Santana to do a solo, one group song, and the last number to be sung by Finn and Rachel. Now, let's start talking about the songs." **

**Rachel became oblivious to the chatter amongst her. How in the world was she going to deal with singing a number with Finn? She hadn't even talked to him in two weeks. **

**Mr. Shue continued. "I need you to get in your group and start planning out the choreography and practice times". **

**She became even more numb as Finn walked hesitantly towards her. The best thing would be to avoid any eye contact with him. She glanced down at her shoes. **

"**Okay, Rach I mean Rachel we need to figure out when we can practice. I can meet with you after football practice."**

**She avoided his gaze. "That would be fine Finn. What song are we singing?"**

"**Didn't you hear him Rachel? We are singing Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. He was surprised that she hadn't been paying attention. His Rachel had always paid attention to the details. **

"**Wait Finn, I cannot practice today. I made plans. Tomorrow would be better".**

**A frown appeared on his boyish face. "Let me guess…going on a date with Charles Gray. Right?"**

**She refused to budge or in this case answer. "I'll see ya tomorrow Finn".**

**This time he gave in to his urge to punch his locker. He at least had the pride to muster up the courage to do this after she left his sight. **


	5. Chapter 5

The clock was ticking and Rachel probably had 5 minutes left of Finless time and she was losing it. How was she going to deal with the intimacy of being alone with him and dancing in close proximity to each other? All she wanted to do was snuggle up to his manly chest and sink into his arms. It seemed like forever since they had held each other tight.

Finn brushed through the door without a hint of hesitation. He grabbed some music sheets and took a CD out of his book bag. "We need to choose what parts we are going to sing."

Rachel glanced at her music sheet and answered, "I think the chorus should be sung by you and the main parts of the stanza's by me especially since the song has girlish references like you like me even without my makeup on. You could sing the phrases that are not referring to a girl if you would like."

After humming and practicing their ideas, Finn and Rachel had solidified the parts they would sing. It definitely made the time go faster and since they didn't have to be in close proximity it made the process much easier.

"What are your ideas on the choreography Rachel?"

Her phone rang before she could reply. "Hello", she said.

Rachel shook her head, smiled, and whispered into her phone. "That would be great". She held her hand up and gestured to Finn to wait a few minutes and then continued on with her phone conversation.

Finn began to feel very impatient. Rachel's phone had rang like 4 times since their practice started. He was tiring of seeing her smile, guessing about who she was talking to, and trying to figure out what was making her laugh. As long as he was with Rachel, he had never seen her be such a social butterfly. Rachel didn't even seem like the same girl any more. It was like an alien had picked her and dropped off someone different. He felt kind of lost not that he would have admitted it to anybody. He felt heat rush up through his back to his neck.

Rachel ended her phone conversation and gently put it back into her large purse. "I turned it off so we won't have any more interruptions", she explained with a smile. Finn did not return the smile.

"Do you have any ideas?" Finn asked.

"Not really".

This surprised him even more. When did Rachel not have any ideas? He thought about it a few seconds. "Since the song is about a girl singing it to her lover, we should probably have you sing the song to me. We could have you come up to me and start singing like it was a surprise or something".

"Sure." She nodded her head in agreement.

He waved his arms for her to walk towards him. She walked towards him but avoided any eye contact with him. Rachel left about five feet of distance between them.

Finn looked into her dark brown eyes and made sure she felt his stare. Finally, she got the point and returned the stare. "You should walk up to me, smile, and grab my hand. From there, you could act like your serenading me with a special song. I will act surprised and join in".

Rachel followed his directions. The minute her hand grabbed his he felt the fireworks tingle through his fingertips. He took in her dark stare, her long brown locks, and lightly pink lips. Then the most unbearable thing happened..she opened her mouth and started to sing like an angel. The irony of having the prettiest dark angel in front of him causing so much ferocious agony was killing him. He opened his mouth and stared into her dark eyes as he fished out the chorus. He almost choked out the words "let's go all the way no regrets". His regret was straining against the fly off his jeans.

Her pink fingertips fell to her sides as she let go of his hands. Rachel pretended to look at her watch. "Finn, we did good today. I think it's a wrap".

"It was a start. We still have a few things to work on". He gave her a firm but promising look. Same time tomorrow".

"Sure". She waved a fast goodbye and exited the room quickly. And when she finally reached the safe confines of the hallway she let out that huge breath she had been inhaling the whole time she was with Finn Hudson. She couldn't quite figure out if it was practice or torture.


	6. Chapter 6

Rachel couldn't help but feel a wee bit positive. Adrian, Charles, and her had a great time watching the new Harry Potter film. She even indulged in some popcorn with extra butter (in her own tub of course). Not that she was in any way as obsessed with cleaning as Ms. Pillsbury, but she could come in a close fifth in regards to cleanliness. Rachel was finding that having friends was nice especially ones that did not make you feel worthless and liked you just the way you are.

She was very excited to put on her find from her shopping excursion. Her black silky shirt with a small bow in the front was emphasized with her black leather jacket with curly trim designs that opened in the middle and worked very well with her skinny jeans and black ugh boots. The darkness of her outfit emphasized her shiny long locks and dark eyes fringed with extremely long black lashes. A glittery black and purple bracelet dangled on her right arms. A very trendy look that made Rachel look like she actually dressed like a teenager. Adrian literally had to drag her in the changing room to try it on but when she saw her reflection in the mirror she did not need any further convincing.

By the time she got to school, Adrian and Charles were waiting for her at her locker. They had encouraged her to join the Spanish Club and they were eagerly waiting for her to go to Mr. Shue's room to plan their holiday fiesta. She gave them her perky Rachel Berry smile as they walked to the classroom.

"I want to get some sombreros for the fiesta. That would be so cool and I think I will make Spanish rice for an appetizer", said Adrian.

"No way, sis, we don't want any cases of food poisoning", laughed Charles. Adrian gave him a pretend jab to the stomach.

Adrian opened the door to Mr. Shuester's classroom as she pretty much was his assistant in his Spanish Class and Club. Rachel reached for the sombrero hanging on the book shelf and started humming some Mexican music. They both started laughing as the too large hat covered up half of her face. Unfortunately for Rachel, she did not see that Finn had just arrived to talk to Mr. Schuester. Oblivious to his presence, she continued with her dance laughing.

"Umm, Rachel", Charles interrupted.

She pulled the sombrero hat up to her forehead and saw Finn staring at her. He had on his McKinley football jacket on with a comfortable pair of jeans. The look on his face seemed to have a dual response of shock and surprise. Rachel's face got pink very fast.

"What are you guys doing?" Finn asked in surprise.

"Just planning our Spanish Club fiesta", said Adrian.

Finn turned to Rachel in surprise. "Your in the Spanish Club Rachel?"

"Yep".

Adrian interrupted. "We are always looking for new members. We meet once a week".

Finn shook his head. "Thanks for the offer. Can you let Mr. Schuester know that I stopped by? He looked at Rachel one more time. "Practice tonight at seven, right?" Rachel shook her head in agreement.

As Finn walked out the door, Adrian smiled a big smile. "I guess I can see now what the fuss is all about. What a killer smile."

Charles shook his own head in agreement. They all started laughing. It felt good to laugh even though her heart was breaking in a million pieces.

After Spanish Club, Rachel went to Glee Club Rehearsal. Santana of course started laying her wisecracks the moment she walked in.

"Wow, it looks like Rachel has acquired some taste", said Santana sarcastically.

Rachel continued to practice ignoring her the whole time. But, when the spit wad hit the back of her head she had had enough. She got up walked over to Santana and pushed Santana back making her and the flimsy chair fall backwards. Not only did she push the chair back but she walked quickly and put her face over Santana's.

"Listen, I don't know what you have against me. But, I'm done playing your games. I like me and nothing you say is going to change that. I'm telling you for the last time leave me fricking alone."

Finn skyrocketed out of his chair to assist in case Santana got some ideas. Rachel pushed his arm away to let him know that she had the situation in control. Luckily for both girls, Mr. Shue had not seen the incident as he walked down to the office for an errand. Rachel turned and walked casually back to her chair and acted as if the whole thing had never happened. Santana just sat back in her chair with this peculiar expression on her face. Finn could not believe what had just transpired. He had a few things to say to Rachel tonight at practice.

Finn was grateful that the rest of the day went by fast. He was looking forward to talking to Rachel. She seemed so different lately. His walking pace picked up as he hurriedly reached for the choir room door. He was greeted to the familiar sight of Rachel Berry talking on her cell phone. Finn walked up to her, grabbed the phone out of her hand, and spoke into the phone. "Rachel has Glee Club Practice. She will call you back". He didn't wait for a reply.

Rachel gave him a questioning look. "What was that for Finn? That was rude of you".

He stared back at her his brown eyes enlarged. "What gives with you lately? What was that scene in Glee Club about Rachel?"

She stood up pacing the floor. After a few seconds of pacing, she walked up to Finn her arms at her waist her eyes fuming. "That was about me standing up for myself Finn. I don't deserve to be treated that way. I'm tired of apologizing for who I am Finn and I refuse to do it any more".

He laid his hands on top of her shoulder. "Okay already, I get it. You just seem so different. For some reason it bothers me".

"Well, I guess you better get over it. You're the one who chose to end our relationship. It's not your concern any more."

"You're the one who made out with Puck Rachel".

She stepped a few feet closer to him. "Yes, Finn. And I chose to be honest with you about my mistake. It was the worst feeling finding out about Santana and your…Whatever, I'm done apologizing. Of course, you are not going to admit your part in it as well Finn".

She looked at him her eyes softening with a tinge of sadness. "Maybe, we just were never meant to be. All we have ever had is one problem after another..Quinn, the baby, Jesse, and now this". Rachel took her hand covering the softness of Finn's cheek like a lover saying his last goodbye.

Finn nudged her against the wall. They looked at each other again. Before either one knew it, their lips quickly made contact. Rachel's arms reached around his back pushing him closer to her eager body. He wrapped his arms around her neck feeling the softness of her hair. The kiss became explosive as they eagerly kissed and danced with their tongues. He felt like he was in heaven as he smelled her familiar scent that he had been craving for so long. He could not stop as much as he wanted to stop the assault on his heart. Rachel Berry was driving him crazy. He chose to tell her that he still loved her with one hell of a kiss. It was easier than saying the words.


	7. Chapter 7

Rachel was a hot and fiery mess. The colorful kiss Finn had plopped on her was replaying in her mind over and over. She had wanted him so badly but her fuse was flickering all different emotions. Correlating where they were heading or leaving was not clear. A part of her felt trying to fix their relationship was like beating a dead horse while the other part had such a desire to hold him and never let him go. She figured the best thing would be to put a band aid over her heart and give it time to heal. Some things were for the best.

Rachel Berry however was finding a small comfort in herself. For the first time, she felt that she could speak up for herself and in the process was learning to like and accept who she was. It would be great if the world could be a peaceful place and people could love and respect each other but the older she got the more she realized that would never be a given. The world would always be "colorful" and have it's storms but Rachel Berry was not going to let the meanness of tactless people shower her in pain. She resolved to do her best, never give up, and to continue working on being the best person she could be. Her life had to mean something and she did not want to settle for seconds. Rachel for once believed she deserved better.

She wrapped her coat around her tightly knowing too well that her chill was from the prospect of seeing Finn again-alone! Her caffeine indulged state did not help. She often indulged in caffeine when her nerves were in overdrive. Her other hand was twirling her hair, another annoying habit she had to calm her nerves. She reached for the door.

This time it was Finn who was waiting. He sat there looking at her with that adorable annoyed look that screamed where were you. She walked past him to hang her coat. Finn reached behind her grabbing the back of her arm. Rachel turned around and stared at him. Finn enclosed one arm behind the swell of her back. He pushed her against his hard chest. His eyes bore into her like bullet holes and she could not help but stare at his dark eyes, enlarged pupils, and slight day old stubble. He closed the distance between them. She saw his lips move towards her and the desire in his ironclad stance. Her lips failed her as they moved towards his like magnets.

She felt Finn's hand move up her back, brush her shoulder, and slowly cascade down on her arm. All the while, his tongue stroked her pink one, eliciting tiny shivers down her spine. He felt so warm and she was finding it so hard to stop. She felt out of control. Her hand brushed the soft hairs on his cheeks and the softness of his messed up do. That's when Finn reached for her hands. He started to move in a slow dance, breaking the kiss, and bending Rachel down flipping her back, her long hair cascading down. With her bent back, he brushed soft kisses by her earlobe, on the softness of her neck, and finally on her pink lips. She jumped her looking into his eyes.

"What are we doing here Finn?"

She looked at him with her lips reddened from his kiss, her hair in disarray, and with two very passionate dark eyes. "Answer me Finn".

Finn brushed the hair out of his eyes. "I don't know Rachel". He paced the floor.

"You need to figure it out Finn. I'm getting tired of the back and forth. I need some solid ground and I won't wait forever". Her dark look spoke volumes.

"But, before I leave I want you to know what I think. I think you are a wonderful person Finn. I would be lucky to have you but Finn you would be just as lucky to have me. I'm a good person. I can be annoying and strong willed but I'm loyal and honest. I did not lie to you Finn. I made a mistake but so have you. I'm not going to sit and wait around for you any more. Figure it out Finn and I mean soon".

This time she would be the driver. She took her hands and pushed him towards the wall. Her lips quickly assaulted his while her hands did the rest. She poured her all in the kiss letting him feel the gauntlet of emotions that she was feeling…the hope…the desperation….the pain… the unbearable want. After running her hands down his hard chest for the last time, she broke their contact. Her eyes flashed at him darkly as she grabbed her coat, fished out her keys, and gave him one last warning. Rachel Berry had come full circle and if he was going to be hers he would need to as well.


	8. Chapter 8

Rachel's words echoed in Finn's mind _… "I'm not going to sit and wait around any more Finn…..You need to figure it out…I'm a good person Finn …I won't wait forever…maybe, we just were not meant to be." _His heart felt like scrambled eggs as he pondered the last remark "maybe, we just were not meant to be". He really could not imagine a world without Rachel, not seeing her surprising choice of sweaters or her some what annoying energy bursts and pushes to get everyone back on track. The thing about Rachel is she kind of grows on you and when she is not around you miss her even more. Finn didn't mind her meeting new friends; he just didn't want her to replace him but he was still angry as hell for her cheating on him. Rachel's ultimatum was clear so he had to figure out what he was going to do.

As he chewed on his lower lip, he contemplated his future. Should he move on? Could he even manage to do that and not go frickin insane or should he walk out that door, nab her, and plop a big one on those soft pink lips? As he imagined that delicious scenario he walked up to the Glee Club door. To his surprise, Jesse was in the Glee Club room talking to Mr. Shue. Could his day seriously get any worse?

He felt a huge angry rush and plundered what might happen if Jesse got word that Rachel and him had broken up. Reality might be that he had already found out and that's why he was there. Finn pushed open the door in a hurry.

Jesse gave him a triumphant look. "Oh, Finn. Haven't seen you in a long time?"

He could sneer just as easily. "What you doing here Jesse?"

"I was just talking to Mr. Shue about needing a female singer for one of my acts. I thought Rachel would suit perfectly".

"Sure, you did."

"Not that it would matter to you any way. Heard about the split on Facebook?"

"Not necessarily a permanent split Jesse. Don't get your hopes too high!" Finn gave him a flick of his brow just enough to emphasize his point.

He was going to add a few more tidbits when the choir room door opened and Rachel walked in. She looked up in surprise not sure what surprised her the most seeing Jesse or seeing Jesse and Finn having a conversation. Her dark skin reddened as she walked towards her seat. Before Finn had a chance to intervene, Jesse dove right in towards Rachel and started a conversation. Although he could not hear the moments of conversation, he did see Rachel shake her head a few times. Finn was seriously pissed. Especially when, Jesse walked out with a triumphant smile.

Rachel could not stop smiling. There was nothing cooler than seeing Jesse come back crawling on his knees. She could not believe that he actually considered the idea that she would want anything to do with him especially after the egg fiasco. In the last few weeks, she had learned about her strengths and resolve to not settle for less. Jesse would never be good enough for her. Jesse was only interested in Jesse period.

She felt a hand grip her and push her to the side. She was greeted by Finn with his questioning look and flushed face.

"Don't tell me that your going to have anything to do with him again."

"Excuse me Finn. What business is it yours? You clearly can't make up your mind."

He bent down making closer contact. "It does bother me a whole lot".

"For your information, I said no. And why does it bother you so much?"

"Because he is not good enough for you Rach. And he makes my blood boil".

"Well, that's how I felt about Santana Finn and you lying to me".

"Rach, I was upset about Jesse and you and it just happened. It didn't mean anything".

"That's why Puck and I happened Finn. I was so angry. It was stupid I admit it but at least I didn't lie to you". Her dark eyes probed into his.

"I love you Finn but no more rehashing the past. If you want a future with me…..Her dark eyes stared at him as she stood on her tiptoes to nibble a soft kiss on his stubbly cheek and softly brushed his bangs out of his face. "Figure it out soon".


	9. Chapter 9

It hit him seeing Jesse… the red flush in his face, the cascading hotness of jealously, and furious pumping of his heart. _That's how she must have felt about Santana and him._ It took seeing Jesse to bring back all the pain that he had felt when he had lost Rachel for that brief time. His nonchalant attitude about the Santana incident probably hadn't helped either. Not that it wasn't right what Rachel had done, but the pain of what she had heard about them in the choir room probably didn't aide her decision making skills.

The part that stuck to him the most was that Rachel had been honest with him about Puck and her. She didn't have to tell him but she did. Her honesty made it easier for him to digest, especially after all the lies Quinn had made to him. He was beginning to feel the stirrings of forgiveness.

He liked the new Rachel Berry her confidence, honesty, and that she wasn't trying so hard to be what everyone wanted. Somehow Rachel Berry had been reborn, and was finding solace with new friends that cared and respected her for who she was. It was time he did the same. Yet, he wanted Rachel to be unique that's what made him fall in love with her in the first place. Nothing about Rachel had ever been typical.

There was so many things he loved about her, her dark passionate eyes and enthusiasm, her honesty and integrity, and her drive for success. Her angel voice that often brought a tiny tear at the mere corner of his eyelid. Their undeniable passion that made him use his mailman technique on a daily basis. He needed her now more than ever! Unfortunately, he looked out at the darkness in the window and realized again that his timing sucks. But, he felt cornered in that if he did not act that they would never really sync together. He decided that he would act for the last time and avoid any more stupidity. Rachel Berry would be his again. He reached for his varsity jacket and sneaked cautiously into the bathroom for a quick swirl of the teeth. He was hopeful!

Finn's first thought was to try to climb the vines to her bedroom but he wanted to try the practical route first. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket and found her in his contacts. Hopefully she had her cell phone on. The familiar chants of Barbara Streisand's Funny Girl rang into the cold dark night. After several rings, he heard the huskiness of Rachel's sleepy voice.

"Finn", she whispered. Why are you calling so late? Is everything alright?"

He could hear the concern in her voice. "Yes, it is now", he said.

"What do you want Finn?"

"I need you to meet me outside your house in about five minutes".

"Whatever for Finn?"

"I really need to see you Rachel, please, he begged".

"Okay, but please be quiet I don't want to wake up the neighbors or my dad's for that matter. If we do, there will be big trouble".

Five minutes later, a very eager Finn reached his destination. His eyes warmed as he saw his favorite girl wrapped up in a pink fuzzy robe and bunny slippers. She looked up at him question marks dotting her eyes and expression. He dove in for the kill grabbing her small fingertips and lacing it with his own.

He gently put his mouth up to her ear. "I've made my decision".

Chills went down her body as his intoxicating scent and breath went in her ear. "And you couldn't wait another 5 hours to tell me?"

"Actually no Rachel, I've already wasted too much time".

He turned her towards him as he cuddled her against his warm chest. He took off his scarf and wrapped it around her neck. He stroked her long dark strands.

"Do you feel my heart beating for you Rach?"

She nodded in reply her ear pressed against his heart hearing the rhythmic propulsions.

"You are everything….. to me". She stirred peeking up towards his dark eyes as he looked down gazing into her eyes.

He pecked her forehead with a small kiss. "I forgive you Rachel but it can never happen again". His eyes turned even darker as he emphasized his statement. "We need to be honest with each other about what we are feeling and try not to act so irrational. I am sorry about not coming clean about Santana. It meant nothing to me. I was in such pain over losing you." He looked at her again. "I never want to lose you again".

He bent down scooping her closer toward his lips. "You are mine". He gently laid a kiss on her cheek. "Mine," he emphasized as he placed more kisses trailing further down to her soft pink lips. He made light contact with his lips on hers and whispered again "I….he softly and gently made contact again with her lips…love you always". By the time the last syllable uttered out of his breath he went in for the kill as one arm cupped her chin the other bringing her neck closer to his. He poured every thought, love, and gesture into that kiss. Their heads bobbed furiously kissing with such a passion breaking all the loneliness out of their system.

Rachel finally broke the kiss as she took in his tousled hair, passionate dark eyes, and one sided dimple. His lips were red and swollen and she could see the passion in his eyes. She reached for his hands beckoning him to go inside her house. "Shh", she whispered.

Her small hands led him to her bedroom. She locked the door behind him. She motioned for him to get on the bed. They sat on the bed facing each other for a brief moment. She stood up and took off her robe revealing

Baby doll white pajamas. After taking off her robe, she inched closer to him taking off his varsity jacket. She lowered the back of her head to the pillow pulling Finn down with her. Her tongue pushed his lips apart as she too poured her all into a kiss. A kiss so wonderful that she strained upward towards his hard body hoping for some sort of release.

"Rach", we need to stop", said a very miserable Finn as he tried to stop his fingers that were prying the top buttons of her pajamas. His protests failing miserably.

Rachel shook her head as she pulled the sweater over his head. His freckled muscled chest shining in the reflection of the moonlight. He started to protest but she placed a silencing finger over his lips. With her other hand, she finished the unbuttoning of her pajamas revealing skimpy white lace panties and a bare tanned chest with perfect proportions. She grabbed his hand bringing it her heart. She scanned her lips to his. He moaned gently as their kiss continued her hands roaming his firm muscled flesh. He did the same his hands bobbing furiously but gently. They explored always breaking for another heated long kiss.

"Love me', she whispered into his ear. He pushed her back into the bed as he gently laid himself on top of her. He fumbled for a while and soon figured it out correctly. He gently broke the last barrier between them as he watched the mixture of pain, love, and passion break from her face. With easy, slow, and passionate thrusts, he muttered his words of love. Rachel to him had never looked so lovely…her dark hair fanning the white pillow case, her dark eyes filled with love, and mouth in the throes of ecstasy. He reached for her hands pressing her fingertips against the mattress. They both seemed to float as they joined their movements together until they both yielded into the dark night.

They spooned and let caution to the wind as they both fell asleep into each other's arms peaceful at last. Finn's last thought as he fell into sleep was that this really was his first time..the first time he had ever made love and hopefully the only person he would ever experience it with.

Rachel woke to the sound of her alarm buzzing and to the smell of Finn's intoxicating male scent. His dark eyelashes and freckled skin looking so sexy especially the sexy muscles at the top of his chest. She did not want to separate but knew it wouldn't be long before her dads woke up to make her a protein breakfast. She lowered her lips to his sexy chest kissing all the way to his forehead. He murmured I love you and gave her his huge dimpled smile. He looked at her tenderly and smiled.

"You better get going soon".

"How much time do we have?" He looked at her mischievously.

"About fifteen minutes", she said.

"I think we can manage that", he smiled as he pushed her flat against his chest. She had created a monster.

Needless to say, it was a very enjoyable fifteen minutes.

…...

_Later on that morning in school….._

Rachel walked into McKinley her skin glowing and her body a tad bit

sore. She felt so different, so alive, and happy. She was even more happy as she walked up to her locker and saw Adrian and Finn. They seemed to be conversing nicely but was especially excited when she saw the red rose that Finn was holding in his hand. His big grin expanding when he saw her approach. They both smiled. Everything was perfect. Rachel Berry has found herself and in the process she had found the one true love that she had always dreamed about. She clasped the gold necklace bearing his name Finn.


End file.
